How to Save A Life
by MadQuinn13
Summary: Laurel learns some new info from Nyssa. Nyssa tries to rehabilitate Sara after spending three months in hell, or what she thought was hell.
1. Temper Tantrums

Laurel stared at the screen. She couldn't believe it.

"You did it." She reached her hand out to touch the girl on it. "I don't really care how it happened I'm just glad you did it."

"I told you to let me take her home. This could've been done weeks ago." Nyssa argued with the lawyer. "It would've gone much easier if it wasn't for you." Nyssa glared. "She's only like that because of you didn't call me the second she fell."

"You really want to blame me for this? I'm just thankful she's back. I didn't know that the pit can only do so much within a time frame."

"It wasn't the pit! She's fine. She's healthy the pit did it's job! What's wrong with her is that you let her stay dead for far too long. That's what's wrong with her! She dead was dead for three months. Do you see what's wrong with all of this? What damage that does to someone's mental state?" Nyssa all but growled at her. She was pissed at Laurel, she was livid. Sara wasn't able to be herself anymore. She couldn't be herself.

"Does she always have to be restrained?" Laurel asked worriedly.

"No, when I'm with her I take off the restraints but when she's alone she has a tendency to try and hurt herself, you can't see it on the camera but her arms and neck are covered in scars from her." Nyssa explained. "I'll talk to her and see if she is up for a visit from you. If she says no, that's it. You do not try to contact her. I will make sure you can still see her, but if she doesn't want to see you, she doesn't see you."

"Deal." Laurel handed over the little stuffed shark to Nyssa before the woman left the room and was soon on the screen with Sara.

…

"Habibi, it's just me. I have something for you." Nyssa's voice was gentle as she tried to help keep Sara calm, although that was never an issue, it was too hard to keep Sara from dropping into the depression that came with being brought back from the dead for months. Sara looked over at her, her eyes bloodshot and her skin still pale for Nyssa's liking, but she didn't look like the walking dead any more. Nyssa held up the stuffed shark and moved to undo the restraints on Sara's leg first. "Your sister is here and she found this little guy in your dad's house." When both legs were done and she moved onto Sara's wrists and paused when she saw Sara staring at her hands, her eyes wide and biting her bottom lip which looked like it spent more time getting bit than not. "Can you still see it?" She asked getting the last restraint off.

"Yes…" Her voice was still scratchy and rough. She sat up on the bed and instantly leaned into Nyssa. She spent every night cuddled into the deadly assassin and knew that all she had to do was say the world and Nyssa would spend every moment with her but she didn't like how she was. She wished she was never brought back. All she is now is a burden to Nyssa and now that Nyssa has Laurel involved she's a burden to her family.

"Father said that most of the side effects only lasted a month, but that was when he was dead for a week. Still it's only temporary, look at how many times he's died." Nyssa smiled at how Sara clutched the shark.

"I'm not really staining it right?" She asked looking up at Nyssa.

"No Habibi he's fine. You know how Laurel brought him down she would like to see you. Is it okay if I let her down here, I promise I'll stay here as long as you want and if it goes too far it'll end whenever you want it to." Nyssa felt Sara tense.

"Can you bring me clothes that will cover up the scars?"

"Of course. Do you wish to join me in the walk to get them? A chance to leave the room?"

"No thanks I just wanna lie here with Sharky for a while please." Sara pulled the stuffed toy closer.

"You'll be okay if I leave for a while?" Nyssa hated having to ask but she knew it was safest to check.

"Yeah, I have Sharky now and I don't want to cause everyone to go through the pain of knowing I died…again."

"If that is what it takes to keep you here, the guilt of knowing what we all went through for three months without you than fine. I'll take it." Nyssa offered her a smile before leaving to get the clothes.

…

Sara was dressed in a long sleeved shirt, her hair was down around her neck covering the worst of the scars on the sides. She had actually changed out of the boring grey yoga pants that were practically glued on to her and she actually put on real dress pants. She kept the stuffed toy clutched to her and was leaning into Nyssa's arms. Laurel was sitting in an arm chair close to the bed where the two assassins sat. Laurel was happy to see Sara. Sara however was staring at Laurel's hands.

"I'm glad you're back Sara." Laurel smiled at her sister.

"Thanks for bringing me Sharky."

"Sara do you remember anything about what happened before you got shot with that arrow?"

"No…" Sara was asked this question a few times and she hated that she didn't remember anything. "I've been trying to remember who it was. It's like it's on the tip of my tongue but I can't get it." Sara groaned, she was so frustrated and angry right now. She just wanted to be able to say the name or see the face again.

"You'll remember eventually." Nyssa rubbed her arm gently trying to keep her calm. "Just don't stress yourself, it'll come when it comes." Nyssa noticed how Sara didn't ever take her eyes off of Laurel's hands.

"What have you been doing Laurel?" Sara asked bluntly.

"Just you know, regular D.A stuff. Taking care of Dad making sure he doesn't forget his meds, the usual. Have you thought about coming home? You know Nyssa can come with you." Laurel was going to leave it to the assassin to decide if she does ever go back to Star City, she was just going to let them know there was an offer.

"I don't want to. Not until I'm better. You're lying about what you're doing." She answered for them. "You have blood on your hands. It's not as much as mine or Nyssa's or even Damian's but you have it and the healers don't. You killed someone. You took a life. Who did you kill Laurel, what are you doing! You're the good one! Stop everything you're doing or you'll just end up in hell like I was. It doesn't matter why the blood is spilled all that matters is that it's spilled. Stop it. Stop the training with Oliver." Sara all but lunged at Laurel and she wouldn't grabbed her if Nyssa wasn't holding her back.

"I'm not training with Oliver Sara." Laurel admitted. "I thought we found your killer." She tried to explain what happened two days after Sara was killed. How she pulled the trigger in the gun that she thought had a full mag in it only it didn't. She pulled the trigger so many times expecting him to be lying on the ground bleeding only he wasn't. He got to live and Sara didn't and she didn't care what was going on. She would destroy the world in order to bring Sara back. She didn't know that all she had to do was talk to Nyssa and allow her to attempt this whole thing.

"Who are you training with?" Sara asked trying to think of people her sister know that could train her.

"I am." Nyssa admitted. She felt the push first and then the slap. Then it was like a switch was flipped and Sara went vicious. She started to attack Nyssa, she was furious that Nyssa did what she knew Sara never wanted. Nyssa ordered Laurel out and started to restrain Sara, she wasn't thinking in her blind rage and it was easy enough to overpower her and put her back in the restraints. "I know you did not want your family drawn into this life, I know that but I didn't have a choice. I found your sister, hardly trained getting her ass handed to her. If I didn't step in she would have died. I figured if she was going to get herself almost killed every night you would like her to be trained so it was slightly harder to kill her. She wants to be the one who kills Merlyn for what he did to you." She tried to explain herself in order to make Sara understand that Nyssa didn't try to ignore what she wanted. Instead she just wanted them to be happy and to make everything better for Sara. "She isn't a part of the League, she is sent on no missions. I am training her because of what she is to you. Nothing is required of her."

"She has blood on her hands."

"If she has taken a life it has not been for the League but due to her own choices. I haven't seen her take a life."

"I want it to stop. I don't want her to end up like me."

"I will stop the training." Nyssa promised. "Have you calmed down?" She asked to make sure that it would be safe to unrestraint her.

"Yes." Sara grumbled. So Nyssa started to undo the restrains.

"I know you're mad. She had already tried to be like you with no training. She ended herself up in the hospital. I figured you would be madder coming back to a dead sister because I wouldn't do what I could to try and keep her alive." Nyssa laid down next to her smiling when Sara rolled over to bury her face in Nyssa's chest.

"I don't want Laurel to go there. She wouldn't be able to handle it. I can't handle it." She admitted sighing into Nyssa's chest when the assassin started to stroke her hair.

"I promise the next time you're there, I will be with you the whole time. I'm not letting you suffer alone for a day let alone three months." Nyssa kissed the top of Sara's head. Nyssa had stopped telling Sara that she may not end back to the exact place she was before but Sara was convinced it was hell and Nyssa had gotten tired of telling her she was wrong so she just promised that she would never have to be there alone.

"What if I die again and you're not nearby?"

"I'll know. I'll order my men to find you and right after they leave I'll get myself killed somehow or other so I could make sure that until we are both brought into the pit at the same time, you wouldn't be alone."

"You think you'll end up in hell?" Sara asked her voice getting smaller and smaller.

"If you're not good enough for Heaven than sure, I'll be in hell with you one way or another."

"One way or another?" She asked.

"If I have to kill God with my bare hands to get to you I will. I'll do anything for you my habibi." Nyssa allowed herself to just enjoy the feel of Sara back in her arms. She almost had started to drift off to sleep when she felt a hand undo the button on her jeans. "Sara…" She groaned before she moved to grab the blonde's hand.

"Come on, it's been forever. It's not like the last time we did this it was overly noteworthy. Not like the time right before I left." She moved to bite at Nyssa's breasts through her shirt only to have her head pulled back by her hair.

"Sara I will not do this with you until you are fully better. That includes mentally." Nyssa explained this before, it didn't feel right to her that they would have sex while Sara was not herself. It was getting harder the more and more Sara was with her. She wanted nothing more than to pin the blonde under her and take her and show her over and over how much she wanted and loved her.

"I want to have sex. **I want to**." Sara stressed. "You have no responsibility. You're not pressuring me. I want this. I want you Nyssa. I only feel like me when I'm with you and I want you. Please Nyssa, can we go back to not treating me like some mental case." Sara grinned when she was turned over so her back was on the mattress with Nyssa slightly straddling her.

"You're right. I have been treating you more gently than I usually do." She leaned down and kissed Sara's lip teasing her slightly. She pulled away and smirked. "But right now you do need to be handled more gently. I love you. That's why I refuse to have sex with you until you're better."

"I don't need to be handled gently." Sara growled pushing Nyssa off her.

"Fine. Will you be fine being unrestrained?"

"Yes."

"If you try to commit suicide again I swear to God I will murder you." Nyssa warned her.

"Fine." Sara grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around herself.

"If you need me you can call me."

"Don't need you."

…

That night Nyssa was talking to Laurel about Sara.

"I want to strangle her."

"Try living with her for eighteen years."

"That is what I'm trying to do." Nyssa huffed. "She makes it impossible."

"Title of her autobiography."

"…I should probably tell her about the cameras."

"She's running into the wall…"

"I know."

"You're not going to stop her."

"She's more likely to go through the wall than to actually hurt herself. She's in one of the only rooms with dry wall in all four walls and not brick or stone."

"But what if she hits a stud?"

"We luck out and she sleeps for once?"

"I like that plan." Laurel leaned back in her chair. She was still sore in muscles she didn't know she had. "She still kick in her sleep?"

"She does more than just kick now." Nyssa rolled up her sleeve to show the deep bite marks on her arm. "This is new. Robin Hood says she use to stab him. Before that she used to thrash around during night terrors but they didn't last long." She smiled at the thought before staring at Laurel's beeping phone.

"It's my mom…" Laurel said absentmindedly.

"How is Dinah doing?"

"She's good. She took Sara's death hard, I haven't told her yet that Sara is back."

"Why not?"

"She'll be on the first plane here, or as close as she can get here before we hang up. She did so much during those six years looking for a sign that Sara wasn't dead."

"If she wants to come I can arrange that." Nyssa was looking at her own phone waiting for Sara to admit that she did need Nyssa. "Your father as well."

"Shouldn't you check with Sara?"

"She doesn't want to be treated gently anymore so that means I do not need to check if she'll be stable enough for a meeting. It'll be good for her, and for them."

"You could get a break."

"I don't need a break from her."

"No but your father isn't pleased that his heir is refusing to go on missions or even to meetings because she's taking care of her insane girlfriend."

"Should be wife…at least fiancé." Nyssa grumbled. "When I find Merlyn he's going to regret the night he did that to Sara. Delaying our lives."

"I can do that."

"Now that Sara is back we should let her decide if she wants to take care of him herself." Laurel thought out loud.

"She doesn't want anymore blood on her hands. No matter what the cause for the blood."

"Has she asked for anyone?"

"She asked about Sin, Johnathan's baby, Robin Hood, Ms. Smoak." Nyssa paused trying to remember. "She kept asking about your father's health so I sent some men to Starling so I could have current answers for any questions."

"You have a man following my father?"

"Protecting him. Same for your mother."

"You haven't told them?"

"The last time I had men following your mother it ended with Sara attempting suicide. So no."

"Thank you for the training."

"It ends now."

"I figured."

"If I hear of you stepping foot inside a gym that caters to peasants. I will hunt you down and sever your spine."

"I know. Do you threaten all the people you train this way?"

"No. Only family."

"When you stop Sara from running into the wall tell her I'll like to see her tomorrow. Also mention our parents." Laurel stood up and smiled at her mentor soon to be sister in law.

"I will. Goodnight Laurel."

"Goodnight Nyssa. I hope Sara doesn't bite you again."

Nyssa went down to Sara's room and stood on the other side of the wall that Sara was running in to. She waited for Sara to actually make it through the wall and stood there, on the other side looking at the dry wall covered blonde with an eyebrow raised.

"What did we agree on?"

"Since when are there walls not made of stone or brick?" Sara looked around the modern wall amazed that she actually went through.

"If I can't leave you in the room without this happening you have to go back in the restraints when you're alone. That's the deal we made."

"That deal was for suicide."

"What do you call running into the walls?"

"Exercise."

"Your sister wishes to see you tomorrow and would like to be able to tell your parents about this. They will want to come and I can arrange for them to be here as soon as possible. You know that."

"They can know, I don't want them here, or to see Laurel." Sara looked down at her bare feet. "Not yet…"

"Okay. Would you like to spend tonight in our bedroom while they fix the wall?" Nyssa was afraid that it could cause a setback in Sara's recovery.

"Are the sheets on the bed the yellow satin ones?"

"No, they are the red silk ones. Do you want the yellow satin ones?"

"No. I like the red silk ones better." She allowed herself to be pulled into Nyssa's arms and led to their room. They never passed a single person on the long journey. When they entered what was known as Nyssa's wing of the large castle like building, the usual servants were there. They informed Nyssa that the bath was drawn and clothes were laid out for Sara to change into after the bath. Nyssa thanked them and dismissed them.

"You had them draw me a bath?" Sara asked touched.

"You're not breaking our bed rule."

"No going to bed anything but clean." It was barley upheld, the only time it was, was when one of them was covered in something that would spread to the rest of the bed. Sara recited the rule, she was the first one to come with it after she was covered in mud and dried blood by Nyssa going straight to bed to cuddle with Sara after being away for two months. Sara not was pleased with the outcome of trying to get blood and mud out of her favorite pair of panties and the shirt she stole from Nyssa.

"Fine." Sara went towards the bathroom and could feel Nyssa's eyes on her. "Are you planning on following me?"

"Well I need to make sure you don't drown."

"You could join me?"

"I refuse to get into water that will be sullied with dry wall. Sharky is still downstairs, can I leave you alone for two seconds to get someone to fetch him?"

"I don't want anyone else to touch him, do you mind getting him yourself?"

"No I don't mind. That will take more than two seconds should I call Choden to come and keep an eye on you?"

"No I'll be fine. Promise."

"Swear on Sharky?"

"I swear on Sharky not to do anything but soak in this water with my head above water level until you come back."

"I love you." Nyssa kissed her before leaving to get the stuffed toy for her clearly two year old girlfriend.

"I love you too. Thank you for doing this. You don't have to, you never did."

"Well I couldn't leave you dead. It was killing me. Really I'm just being the most selfish person in the world."


	2. Mommy's little assassin

Sara was getting better. She didn't flinch when Nyssa went to touch her nearly as much and her episodes weren't nearly as bad. All she needed was Sharky and Nyssa and she was fine, sometimes she needed her sister as well but it was getting better. No more suicide attempts and she only hurt herself a maximum of three times a week instead of three times a day. She agreed to have her parents come out because she just needed to see them. She wanted to see her parents and have them fix it all. They always fixed everything.

Nyssa wasn't able to stay as much as she used to with Sara. Ra's was losing his patience with her and threatened to give everything to Talia instead of her if she didn't stop neglecting her duties for her bed warmer. It didn't mean she didn't spend every moment she could with her. It did make her want her parents more since she didn't have Nyssa to keep holding her and stopping her from being stupid.

"Your mother's plane gets in at 4. I will meet her to the airport and bring her over here. No one will know she is here, except for you, I, your sister and Shiva. Shiva will stay away unless needed but she will be sending me updates like if you have an episode."

"Is this going to be safe?"

"As safe as can be. I'll keep you and your mother as safe as possible."

"Depending on how much progress I make maybe we can go back to the states?"

"We will. I think you will make much better progress surrounded by your friends and family." Nyssa kissed her forehead before sitting back up in bed and pulling her boots on. "I'll talk to Father about taking some work over there so we can get you back home. I want to keep you safe and I think that means I have to keep you away from here." Her father not caring about chasing down her killer, suddenly she wasn't one of them. She still had yet to tell this to Sara. "I have to go now will you be okay?" Sara nodded before reaching for Sharky from his spot next to her and grabbed Nyssa's pillow back. "I love you baby."

"I love you too." Sara was fine with kissing her cheek since Nyssa didn't think she was stable enough to be considered in a state of mind to give consent.

…

Nyssa came back with Dinah with her. The walk up was silent minus a few questions from Dinah about Sara. Nyssa warned her about what she was like, that she was making progress but she wasn't fully herself. When they reached the opening to the suite Nyssa pushed the French doors open. "Sara, I'm back and I brought a visitor!" Nyssa was trying to be more cheery for Sara's shake. She knew the other woman was having a harder time reading social situations her visits with Laurel. Nyssa wasn't the easiest person to read even before this dying mess.

Dinah watches as Sara rushed over to her, that stuffed shark was in her hand but was dropped when she neared and threw her arms around her mother.

"Mommy." Sara was shaking in Dinah's arms.

"It's okay Sara. I'm here. I'm here and everything is going to be okay." Dinah swore looking up at Nyssa who nodded in agreement.

"Shiva is just outside the door if you need anything, I have to return to the meeting." Nyssa turns to leave but stops when she feels a hand on her arm.

"Come back soon okay?" Sara asked resting into her mother's hold.

"Of course." Nyssa left them to catch up. She heard Sara ask Dinah to make it better.

…

When Nyssa finally came back Sara was asleep Sharky abandoned on the floor where he landed. Dinah was reading some book looking down to check on Sara every now and then.

"When did she fall asleep?" She asked in a whispered voice not wanting to wake the blonde.

"Not too long ago. She cried herself to sleep. She thinks she was in hell."

"I know. She also apparently can see the blood on people's hands. That's how she knew I was training Laurel."

"She knows I told Laurel to find who killed her and make them suffer."

"How did she take that?" Nyssa asked looking Sara over and noticing the hand shaped bruises on her writs.

"Not well. Shiva had to hold her down. That's what wore her out." Dinah sighed as she started to stroke Sara's hair like she use to do when she was a child. "This is better?" Nyssa nodded solemnly.

"She used to try and kill herself. I wanted to bring her back so much sooner, it wouldn't have been this bad, she wouldn't hate me for causing all this on her. It's been so hard for her adjusting to being back here. She was in hell, I left her in hell for months, I never should've allowed her to suffer as long as she did. The second I knew where they put her, I should've dug her up and brought her back right away." It was odd, finally saying out loud what Nyssa has been thinking for months.

"Why didn't you?" Dinah asked, a newfound edge in her tone. "If you knew that the longer you waited the less chance of her coming back, why did you wait?"

"I wanted Laurel to agree to it first, so it would be easier, I wouldn't have anyone to fight me on it, make it harder for her to transition back." Nyssa rubbed her temple frowning at the sleeping blonde. Maybe they'd be lucky tonight and she won't have one of her nightmares.

"I called Quentin, he can be here in a few days."

"I don't plan for us to be here in a few days." Nyssa admitted. "I think Sara will do best in Starling. I have someone already looking into buying a home for us, close to your old house if we can't get the actual house. Laurel has agreed to do what she can to make it as safe and trigger free as possible. I expect Sara will make as much of a full recovery as possible once we go."

"He can help with the house." Dinah admitted getting up from her spot on the bed Sara rolling over to face the other side and grab the pillow to her tighter.

"Let him know we'll be arriving in Starling tomorrow evening." Nyssa brushed some hair out of Sara's face before leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of her head. "I wish I could make her better."

"She does too. Not that she blames you or anything. She's my little girl, and I may not do well with you but you take care of her. You brought her back. You gave me my little girl back. You also keep taking her away from us but you're bringing her back and you seem to make her happy, which makes me happy."

"I'd do anything to keep her safe and happy."

"I know. You did what you did back in Starling because you wanted her back. You knew that your father would not allow her to stay alive and not with the League."

"I'm still sorry for that." She admitted.

"It's fine, it's all fine. Keep her happy and I'll let you away with murder." Dinah smiled before Sara woke up and interrupted them.

"You're back Ness." She held out her arms.

"Of course. How are you doing?"

"Fine. Better than fine." Sara smiled and stretched.

"Your mother told me you had a break down. Shiva had to restrain you."

"She did." She admitted. "But it wasn't a bad one, it was one of my milder ones."

"That's good. See you're getting better. Soon you might not be having any episodes at all." Nyssa sat down on the bed next to her. "We're going to leave for Starling tomorrow was there anything you wanted in particular to bring back?"

"Sharky."

"Aside from Sharky. Like clothes for example."

"I wouldn't mind if you back the things you brought back from Paris, London or Madrid."

"I'll make sure each item comes with us." Nyssa kissed for forehead. "Go back to sleep. We have an early morning."

"Fine. What you doing Mommy? Why are you looking at Nyssa like that?"

"She's been taking such good care of you." Dinah smiled. "It makes it so much easier to know that you're in great hands even though you're miles away."

"Where's Sharky?" Sara asked her attention already diverted.

"Here's right here." Nyssa picked up the stuffed toy before tossing him gently to her. "I have to go pack, go to sleep."

As if on cue Sara nodded before pulling the toy closer to her and off she went to sleep.

"I take it you haven't seen your room yet?" Nyssa asked knowing that Shiva wouldn't act as a tour guild.

"Not at all." She admitted. "I don't mind, she's like how she was back when she was small. Before she went to school. She used to want to be up in my arms all the time. But once she went off to kindergarten she was all independent. Wouldn't even let me tuck her in anymore." Dinah explained following Nyssa to one of the halls off the main room.

"She's certainly clingier now." Nyssa admitted. "Has she ever told you how we met?"

"I'm sure the version I was told wasn't the real one."

"I found her dying. She was delirious, starving, she had a broken leg and arm. She was ready to die. She had accepted it. We found out later that she was already into the early signs of kidney failure."

"Thus the transplants." Dinah had seen the scars back in Starling and Sara had told her that before she had needed a double kidney transplant after being on dialysis for a year.

"Thus the transplants." Nyssa sighed. "I never left her side. Well I did for two hours once and came back to an ex member attempting to do something to Sara but I killed him shortly after making sure it was only attempting. After that I stayed next to her for a year. Until she was well enough to defend herself. I would tell you more Dinah but it's not my place. Perhaps when Sara is better she will tell you."

"I understand, thanks for telling me that much." Dinah knew it was more than she'd get out of Sara but not much more than if she was given a medical file.

"This is your room. I'll be getting Sara up at eight in the morning if you wish to sleep in, the plane will leave at eleven."

"Thank you Nyssa. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Dinah."

…

Nyssa was getting undressed when Sara spoke up.

"Did you show Mom to her own room?"

"Did I wake you?"

"Nope, answer the question."

"I did."

"Is she out of ear shot?"

"Yes Sara she is."

"So we can have sex?"

"No."

"Nyssa this is getting annoying. This dry spell is tiresome. I want sex. Just give me sex before I have to flirt with someone else and sleep with them."

"We both know no one in this town is stupid enough to sleep with you. More importantly they are not stupid enough to piss me off."

"I want to have sex."

"No."

"I'm getting better."

"But not stable enough to give consent."

"Says you."

"I thought I told you to go to sleep?"

"I thought I told you to sleep with me."

Nyssa rolled her eyes and slipped on one of Sara's t shirts and a pair of underwear. She laid down in bed and wrapped her arms around Sara. "Goodnight my love."

"Sex."

"Go to sleep."

"Maybe you can fuck me so much I get exhausted and sleep for hours."

"Sleep or I will feed Sharky to a real shark."

"…fine you win for now."

"As always."


End file.
